‘I’ll go first,’ he declared, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. ‘Miles Costello, Barton and Hart Law.’ Accounting assistant extraordinaire. ‘I’m thirty two, about 6ft tall and spend my off time listening to smooth jazz.’ She shuffled, probably nervous, and her chair groaned. She was fat. ‘You?’

‘Well, um, I’m Kara. I just turned twenty seven last week.’ She drummed her fingers on the table top. Pat, pat, thud, pat. Pat, pat, thud, pat. ‘And I work in one of those career advisory offices. You know the one on Ridley Street?’

He knew the one on Ridley Street. It suited his impression of her down to the ground. Unattractive and nothing to brag about.

‘Uh-huh, and your ideal weekend?’ He didn’t really care to hear it.

She hummed thoughtfully but was cut off by the waiter handing her a drink.

‘Here you are,’ he said. ‘No, just here.’ She was having trouble figuring out where the glass was. Miles resisted the urge to laugh at her.

‘That’s it. Enjoy.’

Hiding his wrist beneath the table, Miles pressed a button on the side of his watch. The numbers illuminated. Half a minute more and he could move on.

‘My ideal weekend is probably bike riding and Netflix. My twin passions,’ she laughed to lighten the mood and sipped her drink. ‘I know you probably wouldn’t think the two go hand-in-hand, but actually-.’

‘No, you wouldn’t.’

A loud bell chimed out above the chatter of the gathered singles. Miles let out a sigh and sank into his seat. He hoped his next date would be better.

‘Alrighty, time to change partners,’ Kara’s waiter sang merrily, ‘Will the lovely lady come with me?’

‘Gladly,’ she muttered. ‘Lead on Felix’.

Her loss.

Kara’s hand was soft and warm when Alastair insisted they shake. He had heard somewhere that you could tell a lot about a person from their handshake. Kara’s was firm but gentle. Good start.

He ran a hand across his fringe to make sure it was perfect, rubbed his sweaty palms against his jeans and took a seat.

‘So Kara. What makes you tick?’ He punctuated the question with a click his tongue.

‘Well, currently I work-‘

‘That’s not what I asked,’ he jokingly chided, beaming at her in the darkness, ‘I don’t want to know where you work or what your woes are or anything like that. I want to know the kind of stuff that makes you happy, gets your blood pumping. What. Makes. You. Tick?’

One of her feet brushed his.

‘Well, I like to walk my dogs when I get the chance and I go tubing sometimes in the summer. Oh! And Dancing. I love to dance, though I’m not very good at it.’ Modest too. Alastair mentally pumped his fist.

‘Oh really? It’s funny you should say that because I happen to be an excellent dancer.’ He tapped out a beat on hardwood. ‘And you’re a dog lover! Best pets, hands down. What are they?’

He could feel her hesitation as though it were tangible.

‘I’ll tell you…but only if you promise not to laugh.’

‘Cross my heart.’ Forgetting that she couldn’t see him, he traced a cross shape over his heart, then laughed. ‘I just did it, sorry. Can I have your hand?’

Reluctantly, she extended her arm to him and he took her hand in his once more. He aligned their fingers and leaned forward so that they could draw the cross together on his shirt.

‘There.’

They finished drawing the mark but neither of them go.

‘So go on, what are they?’

She paused. ‘Alright, don’t judge. I’ve got a schnoodle called Snorlax and a cockapoo called Cthulu.’

‘Of course you do!’ He laughed, genuine and full bellied.

Kara’s glass scraped across the table as she picked it up and tried to take a sip. Misjudging the distance, it smacked audibly against her teeth and she cursed.

‘You alright? That sounded pretty painful.’ Worry coloured his voice.

‘Yeah, I’m fine. This kind of stuff is pretty much par for the course for me by now.’

‘You sure?’

Reaching out slowly so as not to spook her, he cupped her face. He could feel the powdered foundation on her skin, but it didn’t put him off. It was soft and her bottom lip was softer as he ran his thumb across it. Her face felt beautiful.

As he mapped her features with his hands, she did the same to him. She followed the contours of his sharp cheekbones, thumbed the space under his eyes and pressed lightly on the tip of his button nose.

‘You’re very pretty,’ he breathed, lungs struggling as all the air seemed to have been sucked from the room.

‘There’s something you need to know-‘

The bell rang and suddenly the world swung back into focus and Alastair felt a chill. Standing awkwardly, he pressed a card into her hand.

‘Give me a call if you ever get a spare weekend between your dancing and your dogs. I’ll take you for a coffee or something.’

‘Time to move on now, sweetie,’ Kara’s waiter chirped, snatching their hands apart and forcefully returning Alastair’s card. ‘That way, sir.’ He gave a little push.

Alastair narrowed his eyes.

Though it had been years since they had last seen each other, Jasper recognised Kara the moment she opened her mouth. He clapped his hands excitedly and leaned forwards on his elbows.

‘Kara? Kara Evans, is that you?’

‘Erm, do we know one another?’

He started to doubt himself and withdrew.

‘It’s Jasper Moore, we went to university together. You remember, we sat next to each other in labs.’ And lived in the same halls for three years straight.

‘Oh! Oh right, yeah. Wow, it’s been a long time.’ She chuckled

‘You’re damn right it has. Must be about thirteen years now.’

She gasped dramatically.

‘Really? That long?’

‘Yeah, at least! How are you anyway? I would say you look good but-’ he waved a hand in front of his face. ‘I can’t see a damn thing in this place.’

‘I’m okay. What about you?’

Taking a break to sip his drink, Jasper shook his head.

‘I just can’t believe you’re here.’

‘Really? Why?’ She sounded surprised, like she had no idea what he was going to say. Odd.

‘Honestly I never thought I’d see you without Jake on your arm. He used to rant and rave about making you his bride and having loads of babies and all that. You were always together. What happened there?’

Kara’s laugh was the same as ever, though deeper now than it was then. He couldn’t tell if it was tension or age colouring it.

‘Oh, you know. He wanted loads of kids and a big house, I wanted a cool job and an apartment in the city. Best decision of my life. I work at Barton and Hart now.’

‘Nooooo, the law firm!? That’s amazing!’

‘What about you and Liz? I thought you were a forever type love.’

The good mood Jasper had been riding on died and he closed his eyes and tipped his head back. He was trying not to think about her, trying not to think about the guilt and the pain that came every time he heard her name, trying not to think about standing at her grave after the accident.

‘We were.’

The bell chimed and Jasper let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

‘Well…it was nice seeing you, Jasper.’

Perking up, he rummaged around in his pocket for one of the cards he had been asked to write his details on.

‘You too Kara. Here, take one of my cards and give me a call if you ever want to catch up again.’

He stood and slid it across the table.

‘I will, thanks.’

Cole had a system. Every time he was led to a table, he would purposefully move around to the other side and try to sit down. That way he could get a good feel of his date before they had to make small talk. This girl was big-boned, that was for sure, but Cole didn’t mind.

He liked them all curvy like that. She yelped when his hand accidentally brushed her chest.

‘Your seat is on the other side sir,’ her waiter chipped in.

‘Beg pardon. My mistake.’ He chuckled.

Even with the waiter jumping in on her behalf, the girl didn’t seem particularly bothered. She giggled, took his hand and helped him into his seat. He landed hard and apologised again for rocking the table.

‘That’s alright.’ Her guard was most certainly down now. Cole was no threat to her. ‘I’m Kara. What’s your name?’

‘I don’t do names.’

‘Oh. Well, alright then. That’s fine by me.’

He slid his feet towards Kara’s until they were touching. She hesitated, then tucked herself away. He still hadn’t let go of her hand.

‘So Kara, what are you into?’

‘Erm, I kind of like playing water polo and I sometimes sing in the shower.’

‘Come on, you know that’s not what I mean.’

‘Maybe I don’t. You should probably go first, just so I’m sure.

‘We don’t have time for you to play coy, Kara.’

‘What?’ She straightened up in her seat and yanked her hand free.

‘Look, I’m not going to tell anyone what you say to me. What happens in the dark, stays in the dark, you get me? I just want to have a little fun.’ Shuffling closer, he rubbed their legs together. Kara’s chair grinded along the floor as she retreated.

‘I think you and I have a very different definition of fun.’ She laughed breathily, clearly unnerved. ‘I don’t know what the other ladies you’ve been with tonight were like, but I for one am not that kind of girl.’

Cole shook his head and clasped his hands together on his lap. He was sure he had been getting somewhere with this one. Such a waste.

‘I see. One of those are you?’

‘One of what?’ Her voice whistled through her clenched teeth.

‘A feminist.’

Her palms slammed down onto the table and her bracelets clacked together. Cole’s drink wobbled dangerously.

‘Yeah,.’

‘You know the story of Adam and Eve, right? Women were put on earth do one thing and one thing only and that’s to please men.’

Next thing he knew, Cole was doused with a girly cocktail. He supposed that it was meant to go into his face but thankfully Kara’s aim wasn’t very good in the dark. None of it got into his eyes, but it did manage to get his chin and shirt.

‘You rotten bitch!’ he roared, swiping the table top clean. His glass shattered and the platter rang out as it rolled away. Most of the surrounding couples fell silent.

‘Felix, take me to wait by the next table. I’m done here.’

Gideon’s evening wasn’t going to plan. He’d imagined his first date would connect with him on some profound emotional level and he’d be able to whisk her into the moonlight in his arms. When she had turned out to be an ancient academic looking for some excitement in her life, he reconsidered. The women that followed weren’t much of an improvement but hey, seventh time lucky.

‘Do you like mahjong?’ was the first thing she asked. She didn’t even introduce herself, just slumped into her seat slurping at a drink. It must be have nice if the way she gulped it down was any indication.

‘It’s alright, I guess. Though if we’re talking Asian puzzle games, I’m more of a Sudoku man.’ Pushing his glasses up his nose, he leaned forward to sample the tasting platter. His fingers brushed against something gooey that smelled of sea salt. He ran his tongue along its slimy exterior and suppressed a shiver.

‘Have you tried this yet? It’s right disgusting.’

‘I quite like mahjong,’ she remarked as if he hadn’t spoken. Gideon furrowed his brow.

‘But near the end, it gets hard. You think you’re doing really well and then suddenly you’ve got no moves left to make. You have to shuffle. Start again.’

‘Oh yeah?’ He tried to put across his indifference to the topic nicely and took another bite of the strange dish. The meat was incredibly tough and chewy. He felt along the piece in his mouth, across the muscle to the tiny little webbed toes.

‘Oh god.’ He deposited it into a napkin. ‘There’s frog’s legs on this thing! Genuine, honest to god frog’s legs! That’s rank.’

‘It’d be better if you could just play without getting stuck, but that’s not fun. There’s no challenge.’ Still not paying him any attention, she dragged her hands across the table’s surface until it squeaked and sighed. ‘I shouldn’t be here.’

‘Oh yeah, why’s that?’ Gideon picked around the tray for something more palatable. The girl seemed intent on talking at him, but at least there was food to keep him busy.

‘Think I’m a bit tipsy.’ Her voice was sort of slurred. She’d definitely had one too many.

‘I’d say so.’ Gideon could feel something that might have been a chicken wing, but after the frog incident, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to risk it. Someone on the next table was enjoying their food rather loudly though, so maybe it was worth the risk.

‘Should maybe stop with drinking now.’

‘Good idea.’ His hand brushed something lightly bumpy and hot. It was tacky and bulbous with a bone jutting from it. A barbeque drumstick maybe? He grinned and picked it up with both hands. Oh that smell. Definitely barbeque sauce.

‘Haven’t stopped since I got here, everyone’s so insuffrbl-insuff-insufferable.’

‘I know the feeling.’ He bit into it and the sauce dribbled down his chin. Nobody could see, so he let it drip into his cupped palm. It was good.

Before long, the bell rang again. Gideon took the drumstick with him.

Jo was nervous. He’d been sitting in the dark for nearly an hour talking to a different woman every five minutes and he still hadn’t gotten the hang of it. He ran his hands through his curly hair, checked his teeth with his tongue, adjusted his tie and fidgeted.

None of his dates had taken his card. They’d heard his airy voice, felt his dainty hands and completely shut him down. He had told his sister that speed dating wasn’t for him but she had insisted that someone might be interested. Especially in the dark, she had said. The cow.

It looked as if Jo’s prediction was right. This was a bad idea. Each date was more awkward than the last and his next one had apparently done a premature runner. The bell had rung for them to switch partners two minutes earlier and still nobody had come to sit with him.

He had thought she was just in the bathroom, but it seemed like she’d up and left.

He sipped gingerly at his ‘surprise cocktail’ and sighed. His chest was hurting. He adjusted the binder under his shirt as subtly as he could manage, refusing to acknowledge heartache as the source of his pain.

‘Chin up, Jo,’ he mumbled to himself. ‘The next one will be better.’

He waited for Kara, but she never came.

Shelves were digging into Felix’s back but he didn’t care. Kara was on him: her fingers in his hair, her breasts against his chest. He dug his fingers into the seat of her jeans and pulled her flush against him. She panted as he ran his hands over her curves, seeing with his hands what his eyes never could.

He had wanted this all night. Each time he escorted her to a new table, a new man, he felt his need for her grow. It was probably wrong to give her so many drinks on the house but he didn’t have time for guilt. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. Why else would she have led him away?

Her pocket vibrated between them and he groaned. She yanked her phone from her pocket and tossed it onto a shelf out of the way. Felix barely noticed, too preoccupied by the scent of cherry on her skin and the taste of vodka on her lips.

Her phone buzzed again against the shelf. The screen lit up on a picture of a smiling man. He looked tired but happy and was holding a baby girl in his arms. She had red rosy cheeks and a single tuft of blonde hair. The man was holding up one of her hands, making her wave. White letters flashed on the screen.

Incoming call: Jake.